Family Matters

Every once in a while, you meet a person who you just make you think, "wow, I wish she were my sister or he were my brother." I had that happen with a couple that attends my church. Brent and Kathy popped into my life probably about three years ago...it's hard to say now as the years seem to all be running together. We met at church group pool party. Two of their three children were there with them. I guess you can say I was friends with their 4 year old son, MC, first. He took to me right away, kissing me firmly on the lips upon my saying hello to him. MM was probably a couple of months old, chilling out in her carrier, not paying me a bit of attention. This would change as she got older... she's definitely my buddy now.

But what makes this family so special to me? Well, when I met them, I was pretty much in the depths of despair over my marriage. I knew it wasn't going to work and I was in that stuck point between wanting to get out and not knowing how I could. Plus, at this point, my self-esteem had eroded to the point that I just didn't think anyone could love me. Brent and Kathy just seemed to have it all together. They were, and still are, very loving towards each other without being icky. They are like a comedy duo, always cracking me up. Of course, they aren't perfect, no one is, but watching them helped me to see what a marriage should look like. They both give to one another and work together and make compromises and just love each other. Oh, and they are the most incredible parents I've ever met in my life.

You see, MC, is blind. He has been blind since he was born. Hopefully some day there will be some sort of medical discovery and he'll be able to see again. But until then...blind. And if Brent and Kathy are the siblings of my heart, MC is the child of my heart. I haven't had a child of my own yet, but I already know that you just don't know what love is until you've been loved by a child. And goodness has MC loved me. Pretty much every since I met the family, I have sat with them in church so that MC could snuggle with me. He just plops down in my lap and hugs on me until it's time to go to Children's Church. Most Sundays, I would go to lunch after church with them so that MC could spend even more time with me. If there were a couple of Sundays that we didn't get to see each other, we would meet for dinner during the week so that MC could have some "Miss Amy Time". For the first couple of years until my immune system built up, anytime MC was sick, I was too. Mainly because when he talked to me, he would put his face right against mine. And secondly, because I'm a frail flower who gets sick very easily. Despite the runny noses, what MC did most for me was patch up my broken heart. Because you know what will heal a hurting heart more than anything? Being loved by someone who doesn't expect anything from you. And being loved by someone who loves you completely unconditionally.

As an aside, I do love their daughters just as much. Their oldest daughter C, just started college, and she is one of the most delightful teenagers I've ever been around. And of course MM, she's almost three now. She is my funny girl, always running out of the nursery so she can come see me. She even looks like me. Brent and Kathy tease that she's really my child. We both have similar facial expressions and we can both roll our tongues, unlike the rest of the family. They are all three great kids and I'm blessed to know them.

Oh, and what I was saying about their being the best parents ever...despite the fact that they have a child who needs them more than the other two, they have somehow been able to structure their life so that their two sighted children aren't slighted. They have to spend lots of time with MC, either going to a center for visually impaired people every week, or taking special swimming lessons, or helping him do things that their other children can do on their own like navigate around their home. However, they have somehow been able to structure their lives so that their daughters get an equal amount of time with them. I don't think either of their girls will ever wind up in therapy saying that their parents loved their brother more than them. I've watched them for three years now, and honestly I don't know how they do it. Jeremy has been around them too and even he is astounded at how they manage their family. I just hope some day, when I become a parent, that I will be half as good a parent as Brent and Kathy are.

Love and Things of That Nature

Since it has been a year, I guess it is now safe to joke about the fact that I told my ex-husband that I wanted a divorce ON Valentine's Day. I mean seriously, who picks a day like that to drop a big ol' bomb like that? I can't tell you why I chose that day in particular. Maybe I'd just had all I could take and the spirit of love that was flowing on Valentine's Day just prompted me to finally love myself and break free from a bad relationship.

And now...I'm in a great relationship. I am cherished. And not just by another person. I love me too. And that feels nice.

So, Happy Valentine's Day y'all! Go out and spread love. But start with yourself!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of Year

Let me just start by saying, I love Christmas. I'm not enamored with all the rushing about and shopping and generally being around lots of people, but oh how I love Christmas. I've been listening to Christmas music since October. I have a pile of movies that I watch every year (Elf, White Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street, Little Women, etc.). I still send out real Christmas cards, the kind you actually sign, not the phoning-it-in photo cards. No offense to my friends who send the photo cards, but there is just something magical about putting pen to paper and signing cards that I have painstakingly picked from the voluminous selection of Christmas cards. I love the food of Christmas...fudge, red velvet, cookies, cakes, hot chocolate, ham, sweet potato casserole, etc. I love the Advent season services at church. The lighting of the Advent candle each Sunday thrills my heart. I didn't grow up in a church that celebrated Advent, but now this is one of my favorite parts of the season. I say every year that I'm going to have my own Advent candles at home, but alas, I always seem to forget until the season is upon us.

This year I have added something new to my Christmas traditions. I have a real Christmas tree. This is the first time in my almost 30 years of being alive to have a real Christmas tree. I grew up in a mobile home where the only source of heat was a wood burning stove. A stray spark from the stove could easily set a real tree to blaze, so my parents never risked having a real tree in the house. Oh, I had such romantic notions of going to a tree farm and picking out my very own tree to cut down, but time and circumstances put those notions to rest. Plus, Costco had trees for $30, so I grabbed one up and took it home. And, it turned out just perfect.



The second thing I added to my Christmas traditions was having someone I love to help decorate the tree. Yes, I was married for six years. And yes, every single year I decorated the tree alone. This year was different. This year I had someone by my side. Someone to help me string the lights. Someone to help hang the ornaments just so. Someone to take pictures as I swept up the fallen needles from the tree. Someone to wrap me in his arms and wish me a Merry Christmas as we stood back and marveled at our handiwork. Someone to say, on hey since you have that fake tree too, we should decorate it as well. Which we did of course, because why have one tree when you can have two.



I love Christmas. And this year, I have love at Christmas too.