Monday, February 6, 2012

Introverts and Extroverts

This week, I am going to go waaaayyyy outside my comfort zone. And not in a way that would seem "outside one's comfort zone" to most people. I am having a birthday party for my fella at my house. Again, doesn't seem weird right? Well, I am not a fan of people being at my house. I don't like for people to be in my space. I don't like for people to touch my things. Shoot, I would rather people not even look at my things. But alas, I love my new fella so very much that I am going to scoot right outside my comfort zone for him.

Why you ask? Because having people around him is right up his alley. For instance, he didn't get called in to work today so he played tennis with a friend and then they went to lunch. If I didn't get called in to work, I'd not even leave the house. I'd hole up and read a book or something. I would not venture out where there are people. My job requires me to be around people all the time. I'm constantly having to talk to people and answer questions and by the end of the day I don't want to hear anyone say anything. And some days, I don't even want to be touched. So, suffice it to say, panic is already flooding my person in preparation for Wednesday.

The nice thing is that he knows how much of a struggle this is for me. And he appreciates the effort I am putting forward to allow people into my personal space...even people I've not met. And bless him, he is doing all he can do to help me become desensitized to having people around. But as much as he loves me, I just don't think he quite can fathom why I'd be perfectly happy going for days on end without seeing anyone or having to talk to anyone. And that's okay. It's okay for us to be different. I don't prevent him from being around his friends and he doesn't force me to be around people. But I do worry, if our relationship progresses, if it will eventually be a problem. Sure, I am able to rally and go to parties and dinners and all with him and his friends. But I also wonder when this will become a stumbling block to our relationship. Like will he eventually start to resent my not wanting to be around other people.

I worry about this, because I get my introversion from my mother. She too is perfectly content to not be around other people. My dad has even said something to her about not having any friends with which she likes to do things. He doesn't understand her either. Because he is very much an extrovert. The man has never met a stranger in his life (and honestly neither have I), but he just can't understand why she doesn't like to be around other people. But I get it 100%. It's not about not wanting to be around other people at all really. And it's not about being shy. We just both have so much going on in our minds all of the time that having to interact with other people drains all of our energy. So thus, I worry. I worry that someone who is energized by being around people and someone who is drained by being around people just won't work out in the long run.

How about you? Are you an introvert/extrovert and in a relationship with the opposite of you?  How do you make concessions for one another? How do you care for one another?