Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Lenten Journey

I grew up Baptist and never had really heard about the season of Lent. We Baptist went straight from Christmas to Easter with not much of a thought given to everything that happened in between the birth of our Savior and His subsequent death and resurrection. So, I didn't really know what it meant to give up something for Lent.

Now, I attend a Methodist church. I adore the Methodist church. There is so much love there. And so now, I celebrate Lent. I gave up something for Lent for the first time last year (desserts, if you're wondering). It didn't really go all that well, especially considering that I told my then husband that I wanted a divorce about a week after Lent began. So, that whole no desserts thing when right out the window, along with my waist line.

This year, I started thinking about what I should give up for Lent. I don't really have any vices. I don't drink sodas. I eat healthy. I exercise. So, I started thinking that maybe I could actually give up something that means something this year. I started thinking about things that I don't do instead of things I do. One thing came to mind right way. In the past six years, I stopped reading my Bible. I know that probably doesn't seem like much, but from about 6th grade until the first year of my marriage, I had a daily quiet time where I would read my Bible and pray. I stopped doing that the first year of my marriage. It was hard to read a book that said that I had to stay married to someone regardless of how I was being treated. I was just angry. I never got angry at God per se. I mean, I never stopped going to church. I taught Sunday School. I participated in Bible studies. But outside of church, I did not open the Bible very much at all. And I've actually felt a loss in my life because of not reading my Bible. Until I actually was able to reconcile a divorce with my faith, I felt a whole lot of emptiness even in church. Thankfully, I have been surrounded by some pretty amazing people in my church and in the blogging community who have helped me get to a better space in my mind in regards to my divorce and the scriptures. I am slowly but steadily becoming free from my anger.

So, this year, I am giving up not reading my Bible. In the next forty days, I hope to fall in love with the Word of God once again, and become free from the anger I felt completely.

Peace and blessings to you all as you begin your Lenten journeys.